Do you see the shiny gold statues glimmering in the distance? Can you hear the rustling sound of a sequin-covered dress brushing against an inordinately long red carpet? Do you feel a feeling, deep in your gut, that someone, somewhere, is a few months away from being snubbed? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you know that Awards Season is finally upon us.
Yes, the time where celebrities dress to the nines to celebrate other celebrities in televised ceremonies that we plebes watch from the comfort of our couches has arrived. This past week was full of Awards Season news. From a whole host of host announcements (and some host announcements later rescinded) to nominations for not one, but two very different award shows, Awards Season is in full swing. Let’s take a look at everything we have learned.
This week, three hosts were announced for two of the biggest film award shows of the year. By the end of the week, only two hosts remained. How we got there is a fascinating look at what exactly it takes to get and secure a hosting job in 2018.
The first big announcement came from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, a.k.a. The Oscars, who shared that Kevin Hart would be hosting their big show in February. Pretty quickly after the announcement, people began to notice that Hart was deleting some old tweets. The tweets in question were all homophobic, frequently using gay slurs and implying that Hart polices his son’s behavior so he doesn’t come off as “gay.” People also began to dig back into his standup, where he had shared similar sentiments. Obviously, this is not a great move for someone hosting a show often jokingly referred to as the “Gay Superbowl.”
Instead of apologizing, which the Academy apparently asked him to do, he first criticized the public for criticizing him, saying that people are too sensitive. Then he criticized the Academy for asking him to apologize, saying that he wouldn’t do it and that he didn’t feel he had a reason to do so. Then, mere days after being announced as host, he tweeted that he had stepped down from the hosting role. In that statement, he actually apologized.
So what can future Oscar hosts learn from this? First, don’t tweet dumb homophobic nonsense, but if you do, remember to delete it before you’re announced as host. Also, just apologize! There’s a certain protection comedians feel that they have from apologizing for insensitive remarks because as comedians their job is to poke fun at uncomfortable topics. But there’s a difference between poking fun and saying and tweeting things that perpetuate beliefs that genuinely put a group of people into danger. It’s silly to stand by something like that, especially if you claim you don’t feel that way anymore. Apologizing isn’t always the most fun thing to do, but sometimes it’s truly necessary. Kevin Hart didn’t seem to get that, and now he doesn’t get to host the Oscars.
So who will? As of my posting this, the Academy has yet to select someone new. I’ve heard a variety of suggestions, from the hilarious Wanda Sykes to the indomitable Gil Faizon and George St. Geegland of “Oh Hello” fame (who I personally think would be better suited for The Tonys). But I had my own idea for who should host, and I think it could solve many of the Academy’s problems.
Two stars really stole the show in the cinematic world this year, and their names are Charlie and Olivia. Charlie, of course, being the dog in “A Star Is Born” and Olivia being the dog in both “Widows” and “Game Night.” Both are adorable, charming and have proven that they can do anything with the right amount of treats and training. Neither could possibly have any insensitive tweets in their pasts, because dogs can’t tweet! What I’m trying to say is, let Charlie and Olivia host the Oscars.
I know what you’re thinking: How could two dogs host the Oscars? Dogs can’t talk! True, but you know who can talk? Jake Johnson and Mindy Kaling. I believe that these two actors could truly capture the voices of Charlie and Olivia respectively, and could easily do voice over work from behind the scenes. All that’s left is to hire the best comedy writers in the game to write their banter and you’ve got yourself a great show. Looking to pull in more viewers? Everyone is going to want to see how two dogs are going to host the Oscars. It’s a brilliant idea, and now that I’ve put it out into the world I’m just going to sit back and wait for a call from the Academy.
Or, they could just do what the Golden Globes did and hire two wonderful people who have never done anything wrong and have already proven that they have good onstage chemistry. Sandra Oh and Andy Samberg, I am very excited to watch the Golden Globes with you two at the helm.
Speaking of the Globes, they also announced their nominees this past week. On the film side, “Vice” got the most nominations, which is super cool because it hasn’t even been released to the viewing public yet! “A Star Is Born” and “The Favourite” also did very well, and “Black Panther” seems to be well on its way to an Oscar nom with it’s three Golden Globe nominations, including one in the Best Drama Category. I was especially happy to see the delightful Elsie Fisher nominated in Lead Actress in a Comedy/Musical for “Eighth Grade” and especially mad to see “Widows” get zero nominations. Not even one for future Oscars host Olivia, who plays a surprisingly pivotal role in one of the film’s key plot twists!
As for TV, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” seems to be continuing its reign over TV awards with several nominations. Same with “Barry.” I guess I should try and watch both of those shows now? That would involve paying for subscriptions to Amazon Prime and HBO and I do not have the time or the money for that. “Killing Eve” got several nominations, including one for now Globes co-host Sandra Oh. I want her to present the award to herself, and I feel like that could actually happen. “The Good Place” also got several nominations, which is nice to finally see. I was most excited for my favorite new TV show of 2018, “Pose,” and it’s two nominations, including one for the magnificent Billy Porter. And in things to be mad about in TV, barely any love for “Atlanta“? The Hollywood Foreign Press had better hope that Teddy Perkins doesn’t come after them. We know he’s got connects at all the big award shows.
The Grammy nominees were also announced this past week and I’ll be honest, I don’t have nearly as many strong opinions on that front. There were a lot more women nominated in the biggest categories this year, which is wonderful to see and will be even more wonderful if they actually end up winning. “Shallow” from “A Star Is Born” got a ton of nominations, which is both hilarious and not at all surprising. If they win any of them and don’t recreate the Grammys scene from the film, then this all will have been for naught. Lady Gaga should at least dress in character for the ceremony. I was most excited to see Chloe x Halle get two Grammy nominations, including one for Best New Artist. “The Kids Are Alright” was one of my favorite albums of the year, and you should definitely check it out if you haven’t already.
And in “things that should be getting awards next year” news: both “The Good Place” and “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” pulled off very ambitious moves on their respective episodes this week. If D’Arcy Carden isn’t a serious part of the Emmys conversation next year, then we have really lost it all.
What do you think? Did you enjoy the influx of awards season news last week? Am I going to see “A Star Is Born” in IMAX today? Are Ally and Jackson far from the shallow now? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. And, of course…